So it has now been 20 days since the closing on the house and so far it has been both fun and a pain. The first project was to rid the basement of all of the moldy paneling so that the air in the house would be breathable and what a difference that made.
Then the yard, first project was to mow the almost knee high grass with a push mower which was a treat unto itself. It took forever with the mower dying at least three times every two minutes because the grass was not only overgrown, it was wet. But that was taken care of after much work and the lawn looks fantastic. The next outdoor project was to paint the ugly bird sculpture in the front yard. This consisted of buying two cases of Rustoleum grey primer and spray painting the crap out of the bird, it now looks much better.
I guess now would be a good time to give a little background on the house. After talking to the neighbors, we have found out that the house was really built in 1865 and was the original homestead house in the area. I also found out that the original owners took very good care of the house and were avid gardeners. This is in complete contrast to the previous owners who did not care for the property which is very evident in the fact that most of the time I have been spending has been involving throwing out lots of trash and making small maintenance repairs to things like putting teflon tape on sewer cleanout caps so they don’t leak into the basement (luckily, said cap was not on the same line as the toilets and was only on the line with the shower and the sinks). The other thing that was done to the house almost thirty to forty years ago was to convert the upstairs into two separate apartments which will be nice once they are cleaned up and rented out. This was a good idea but it is now obvious that it was done on the cheap because looking at some of the remnants of the project in the basement, I have found that copious amounts of electrical tape were preferred to junction boxes and that coffee cans, yes coffee cans were used for the recessed lighting elements ( guess this is where the phrase ‘can lights’ comes from.
The next big project is the water heater from hell. 10 days ago, when I finally moved into the house after taking a gallon spray pump of clorox to the entire place, I decided it was time to fire up the hot water heater. Unfortunately, the water heater did not have the same ambition I did and decided to smite me with its continued silence and coldness. After trying many different things and consulting and insulting the manual, I finally called upon professional help, yes, I called my dad. He was able to give me many pointers and ideas which were very good things for me to learn for future reference on water heaters and gas systems in general but alas, still silence from the water heater. Finally, I broke down and called a plumber, actually I called twelve different plumbers and had two additional ones show up and except for the last one, they all said the same thing: Whirlpool water heaters of this model are commonly like this. They are sold by Lowe’s and they are a piece of junk. They then told me to call the 1-800 number posted on the side and that Whirlpool would be able to help me. Well, I called Whirlpool and unfortunately being the honest sap I am I did tell them that I am the second owner of the water heater. The other problem I had was that unfortunately their call center in Delhi is not really staffed with people who are good English speakers so every five minutes I was like: Can you speak some ENGRISH PREASE?!?!?! Well, they said that they couldn’t help me and the warranty is useless even though it has a 12 year warranty and is only two years old and I should call a plumber. How ironic, the plumbers tell me to call them and they tell me to call a plumber… Well, it is time for a new water heater more to come on that subject later. You might be thinking at this point what that last plumber told me, it went like this:
Plumber: I’ve never seen this extra wire before so I don’t know what it does. (in his best Barney Fife voice)
Me: That’s the temperature sensor according to the wire diagram…
Plumber: I’m not sure what this button does…
Me: That’s the igniter…
Plumber: Well uh, uh, I’m not sure I can help you so I guess I’ll see you later and try this 1-800 number they’ll be able to help you…
Me: Grrrrrrrrrr
At this point you might be wondering why would someone subject themselves to all of this. Well, I say it is worth it even through all the struggle and the crap and the cold showers… especially the cold showers… which I haven’t had to take but I tell Carl that so he’ll shower occasionally and not smell =) If you are reading this Carl… =) gotcha. =)
Anyway, I need to go so I can get some sleep and then toil and trouble tomorrow at work and deliver furniture to people’s houses which after leaving make me smile real big because I know beyond all doubt my house is cleaner and roach free because as the saying goes where I work, If you are lost on a delivery and you can’t find the house in the neighborhood, look for the crappiest house on the block and that is most likely where you are going…
Peace,
John
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